Snuggie-wearing pub crawlers coming to a city near you

OK, the image you see below is very real. A new fad of holding Snuggie Pub Crawls for charity is sweeping the nation one freaky Snuggie-owning philanthropist at a time.

That particular pub crawl went down January 31 in Cincinnati, Ohio, the city where my parents met and fell in love. (Connection??????) It was the first Snuggie Pub Crawl in the history of mankind. Although something tells me this six-man crawl wasn’t for charity. I could be wrong.

The point of all this is that Austin’s holding a pub crawl, too. But ours will be benefitting an orphanage in Tanzania. Tomorrow the country’s second and third pub crawls will go down in Nashville and Baltimore, and Sunday Portland’s joining the ranks. Chicago, Dallas, Atlanta, Columbus, Cleveland, Boston, Denver, Detroit, LA, New York, San Francisco, Washington D.C., Seattle and St. Louis are doing it, too.

Here’s my problem with all of this. Snuggies make sense in freakishly cold places like Portland and Cincinnati. Texans, if you really want to go out in public in a Snuggie, that’s cool, keep Austin weird or whatever, do your thing. But if you’re going to crawl around in your blanket with sleeves when it’s 80 degrees outside, I’m sorry, but you’re pushing weird to a new level of crazy.

My other big problem is, let’s face it, I’d have NOTHING to wear. None of my blankets have arm holes in them :’(