That Thing 20-Somethings Do

The past week has brought about a lot of discussion on the true Achilles heel of my generation, the Millennials. The generation that has been the most obsessed over, over processed and over exposed generation to date? Yeah, that’s me. It’s so embarrassing.

Just today, as I clutched my cell phone while huddled in my car in the midst of a giant electric storm in a Target parking lot, I told my father, in complete exasperation, “Just be grateful that you don’t have to live in my generation, Dad. It’s just awful.”

He admitted that nothing could be worse that that.

The New York Times seems to agree. From all its scientific research we can conclude the following: damn it sucks to be them [read: us]. I have been obsessively contemplating the Emerging Adulthood theory brought up in this article. I look at myself, a successful young career woman, and think, I loathe adulthood, it’s nothing but paying bills and cleaning and buying groceries and washing dishes and doing laundry, I do it all, but as I italicized before, I loathe these adult duties.

Slate asked us, “What’s the Matter with Twentysomething Kids Today?” through an exploration of some very successful 20-somethings’ perspectives on their stage in emerging adulthood. I felt of all the participants, I related most to Samantha.

Samantha Henig
I pay my own bills too, Noreen, but I don’t feel like that makes me as an adult. I have plenty of grown-up responsibilities, but I’m not responsible for anyone but myself. If I want to live a totally selfish life (which arguably would still include paying my bills, for the selfish reason of wanting to avoid late fees and keep my utilities running), I can. No one is counting on me, and any wrong moves—romantic, career, financial—only hurt me. It’s that, more than my bank account or job title, that makes me feel like I’m not quite a grown-up. The stakes are just too low. And even though I’m not one for trips to Asia to find myself or whatever, the fact remains that if I wanted to and could afford to take one, there’d be nothing truly standing in my way. Like, say, a hungry toddler.

I do not meet the criteria for a full-fledged adult in one huge way: I am not married and not with child. These were never, in my mind, prerequisites for a successful journey through my 20s. Now I’m left dumbfounded, thinking I have failed to bloom to my full potential in some way or another. However, I’ve found another great validation for my failure to launch into full adulthood. And, unfortunately there’s really no other way to put it: it’s the girl power theory.

The Atlantic knows What’s Really The Matter with 20-somethings. The women don’t need the men anymore.

Women and College

In 1970, women accounted for 36 percent of college graduates. Today they account for the majority. College educated women marry later, have fewer children, and are less likely to view marriage as “financial security,” according to a 2010 Wharton study [PDF]. You can’t explain delayed marriages and older mothers without talking about college.

Well, if that wasn’t like looking into a fortune-telling crystal ball I don’t know what is. Women became fed up with performing manual “adult” labor all day long while the men got to make all the money and become big fancy executives. Screw that. I hate laundry. I hate dishes. Oh wait, I end up doing all of those things anyway because I’m not in the market for a husband or child! We have screwed ourselves over, women, and we’re still not real adults. This sort of thing would happen to a Millennial.

I have one final proposal for the development of the Emerging Adulthood stage. This theory, completely theorized by yours truly, is quite simple. We’re complex. We are digital natives. We want to text and listen to music and check Twitter and watch Anthony Bourdain all the time. We want to surf the web constantly. While we’re talking to you, keeping up a text conversation and playing a Word With Friends game. To put it simply, we all have mild to severe Attention Deficit Disorder.

I can imagine how young adults used to pass the time back in the old days, like say the 80s. They would listen to a record, or maybe watch a movie together — two common activities even these days. But today these simple joys have taken mutant form — I am playing you an iTunes genius playlist via my iPhone however I keep skipping through each song that lasts longer than 3:00 minutes because at that point I’ve lost my patience and can’t wait to see the next song. Or while we’re watching a movie downloaded instantly on Netflix, I might just text all night or concurrently finish somebody off in a virtual Scrabble game. Or comment on my friend’s new Facebook photos. You get what I’m saying here. ADD.

People who have known infinite options and quick fixes all their lives don’t need to commit to things. If some internship or job is unbearable, you get out of that situation and find some new opportunity. Discomfort is not worth the damage it can create — we’ve been conditioned to bail when the times get unbearable. I don’t think my parents felt the limitless options that we do; they found a good job and that was it. Financial stability is important to them, because their own parents grew up on the tail of the great depression. Us Millennials, well, we’ve known and seen opportunity and fortune — and money can’t buy us love or happiness. But joining the Peace Corps can.

New York Times + Apple Tablet = Love?

Online sources are reporting that on January 27 the New York Times will begin charging its readers for access to online content. This change in accessibility is coming the same day Apple’s much-anticipated tablet (well, it looks like we may be calling it the iSlate) is rumored to launch. New York Magazine reported that NYT Chairman Arthur Sulzberger Jr. may “strike a content partnership for the new device, which could dovetail with the paid strategy.”

The exact details of how the pay wall system haven’t been announced yet. Times spokesperson Diane McNulty said: “We’ll announce a decision when we believe that we have crafted the best possible business approach. No details till then.”

Journalists crafting a business approach? Aye, this could take quite a while. With 10 days to go until the rumored pay wall is raised high, we won’t have to wait long to see what the final approach will entail. Sulzberger needs to have quite a few conversations with Jobs pronto.

The Telegraph reports, “Mr. Sulzberger is believed to favor a metered use policy similar to The Financial Times, which allows readers to access some articles for free before they are forced to subscribe.”

Personally I’m completely comfortable with supporting the dying art of journalism (it feels a bit like supporting your local community theatre). I’m also happy to pay for quality news and reporting. But I do hope the Times gives some sort of mix’n'match deal. No Dowd for me, please.

Also… DO WANT THE TABLET. Holy jeez it looks amazing.

Freelancers: Banana Republic is Calling

I found this New York Times Sunday column to be a fitting beginning for my blog. It was written by Caitlin Kelly, a freelancer who was sick of the isolation and sad, lonely nights.

Solution? Working retail, apparently. Her part-time job “selling a popular and well-known clothing brand in an affluent New York suburb” was her dream come true. Human interaction, a boost in self-worth and “a chance to learn and perfect some fresh, useful skills” in only six to eight hours of retail work per week!

“For the first time in 30 years of professional life, I know my clear value to my employer,” Kelly writes.

Boy, that’s mighty frightening. If I’d spent 30 years writing and publishing only to realize I would have been more fulfilled as a shopgirl, I’d pretty much want to end it all. And publishing a column about my discovery? Yeah, that’s probably the last thing I’d do.

To each his own. Welcome to my blog, y’all.