From boob signings to book signings

Former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich is moving up in the world! No longer does this shameless man have to sign blonde boobies outside of Chicago Cubs games. But, you know, just because he’ll eventually move on to bigger and better signing materials, (OK, so maybe not bigger!) like freshly-bound books published on the dime of a “six-figure” book deal with Phoenix Books, doesn’t mean he’ll be all books from here on out. I can definitely see more boobies in Blago’s future.

The book, to be titled The Governor (more like The Former Governor, LOL!) will outline his “downfall” and all of the “factors” that were “involved” in the “decisions” he “made.” And yes, all those scare quotes were very necessary.

This is what I don’t get, Americans, why are we PAYING this criminal after we hand him federal charges for trying to get PAID to pick a senate seat? Are you out of your mind, Americans? Have you gone bonkers? It was bad enough that you watched him on The View, or let him sign your boobies or whatever it is you let him do. Shame on us for paying attention to this governwhore turned attentionwhore.

I am going to lose sleep for months over this garbage. Well, Blago, your indictment’s coming in April, so you better be a quick writer.