Blessed are the hipsters, for they shall inherit the Earth. Oh, wait, wrong verse.
I ended my glorious week of SXSW in the teenie tiny Green Shoelace Garage for a very special party featuring a “secret” guest, the widely celebrated and loved MSTRKRFT. I was so pumped to see them, last time I saw them they blew me away and I expected the same last night. Let’s just say I fell vicitim to hype of my own making.
The whole performance wasn’t really about dancing or listening to some high-quality electro music, no, it was about the entourage. It was about being seen passing a bottle of Crown Royal from one sexy person to another. And taking sexy photos of all the beautiful drunk girls willing to drink their away their dignity in exchange for the chance to dance on the stage with a cool DJ guy with a crazy design on his T-shirt.
I’ll admit that I sound more bitter now about the entourage than I actually felt at the time. They were annoying, yes. But not to the point where my night could be ruined. Still, I couldn’t help but think that it was a little sad to end my SXSW with pretentious New York hipsters who think it’s OK to invade our city with their “hawter than thou” party mentalities.
Anyway. lastnightsparty was at the show. I’m pretty sure I’ve linked the man behind the lens:
Sure, he seems all right on stage, innocent enough. But my friend and I left the show early (sheer exhaustion, it was going on 4:30 a.m., ah). We rode our bikes back around the garage and I spotted the same cameraman crouching behind a dumpster, coaxing an intoxicated topless woman to pose for some photos.
It’s not like I haven’t seen the topless party photos before. But seeing it in person and seeing that poor drunk girl’s confused face just really put me over the edge. Go home, New Yorkers, we Southern Belles try to keep it a little bit classier than that.
SXSWmas, Christmas, they’re both filled with free booze, free shows and round-the-clock parties, right?
I wouldn’t know. It’s not that I’m Jewish — it’s just that the holy year of 2009 is the first time this devout and born-again Austinite will partake in SXSW.
I’m coming up on my four-year anniversary of Austin residency in June, but between spring break trips and a brief sabbatical to Spain, I’ve never actually been in town during a SXSW. Sinful, I know.
I felt pretty overwhelmed by the whole concept at first, but thanks to sched.org I have already planned out my two days off down to the minute. You absolutely must check out this Web site, people. It will be more enriching than that time you were taken over by the holy spirit at church camp. Really.
And about my two days off — those would be Thursday and Friday the 19th and 20th. Sadly I won’t be able to go check out one of my favorite Austin punk bands, The Young, because they’re playing right in the middle of my shift on Wednesday. Still, if you’re more blessed than I am, you should check them out at Beerland’s unofficial Can’t Stop the Bleeding day party on the 18th.
I caught The Young on Friday night at Beerland; they played all new stuff. I can definitely see they’re taking a new turn with their music. Their short, catchy numbers are growing into extended jam sessions. It’s an unexpected turn for sure, but I think it’s a good one. They’re showing off their true talents a bit more now. And that’s exactly why you should go check them on the 18th.
OK, the image you see below is very real. A new fad of holding Snuggie Pub Crawls for charity is sweeping the nation one freaky Snuggie-owning philanthropist at a time.
That particular pub crawl went down January 31 in Cincinnati, Ohio, the city where my parents met and fell in love. (Connection??????) It was the first Snuggie Pub Crawl in the history of mankind. Although something tells me this six-man crawl wasn’t for charity. I could be wrong.
The point of all this is that Austin’s holding a pub crawl, too. But ours will be benefitting an orphanage in Tanzania. Tomorrow the country’s second and third pub crawls will go down in Nashville and Baltimore, and Sunday Portland’s joining the ranks. Chicago, Dallas, Atlanta, Columbus, Cleveland, Boston, Denver, Detroit, LA, New York, San Francisco, Washington D.C., Seattle and St. Louis are doing it, too.
Here’s my problem with all of this. Snuggies make sense in freakishly cold places like Portland and Cincinnati. Texans, if you really want to go out in public in a Snuggie, that’s cool, keep Austin weird or whatever, do your thing. But if you’re going to crawl around in your blanket with sleeves when it’s 80 degrees outside, I’m sorry, but you’re pushing weird to a new level of crazy.
My other big problem is, let’s face it, I’d have NOTHING to wear. None of my blankets have arm holes in them :’(
OK, so it was the talk of the Sunday news: a fireball falling from the sky was seen all across Texas. I’m somewhat resistant to report that I was still sleeping at the time of the spotting, but there, now you know. Some descriptions we received on our tip e-mail described it as a “”very bright orange/purple object streak across the sky to the north” and “a bright glowing egg-shape with an orange center and bluish outer aura.”
Apparently the glowing fireball left a smoke trail behind it that lasted more than 15 minutes before it the smoke cleared up.
The immediate speculation was that the mysterious glowing object was in fact an UFO. Those theorists were quickly reminded of the Russian and U.S. Satellites that crashed nearly a week earlier. The new identity of the fireball: “space debris.”
Thank God for the Austin Marathon! A News 8 cameraman was in the perfect position while taping the marathon: he caught video of the space debris burning bright.
Between then and now the media has figured out that the debris was, in fact, a meteor. And that it’s the size of a pick-up truck and consistency of concrete. Thanks, North Texas astronomer.
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